Four days ago my dear Mumra was diagnosed with Lymphoma. As the waterworks inevitably came I was filled with sadness, anger and guilt. The next two days where a roller coaster of emotions. For a brief moment I felt hope. If we could take him to an oncologist and put him in treatment, he could stay with us for a while longer. I talked to the oncologist only to realize this would not be an option for us. With anguish in our hearts we made the decision to work with our vet in order to keep him as comfortable as possible for as long as we can. I am scared of losing him, but mostly I am scared to witness his suffering.
This has taken me back a few months ago when I had to say goodbye to my beloved Abuelo. I am reminded too soon of the inevitable cycle of life. And I can’t help but to feel my heart-break. But as I look into Mumra’s innocent eyes I know I have to stay here, now.
All this pain I am experiencing is anchored in the future and the past. Now I have Mumra with me, seemingly full of life. Now I have my beloved family in health. Now I have strength and determination. Now I have all I need and more. I have the world at my feet because I have love, health, stability and joy. I have the opportunity to live, and today that is all that really matters.
Last year I started the twelve days of gratitude in my previous blog. It was a wonderful experience and it rippled. People started their own twelve days of gratitude leading to Christmas. It filled my heart with joy and gave me perspective. So I decided to make it a tradition.
Today, twelve days to Christmas, I once more vow to be grateful every day. To say thank you out loud. To count my blessing and not my losses. To stay here now.
So today on day one I am grateful for Mumra and Abuelo. I am grateful for all the love, kindness, respect, happiness and wisdom they have bestowed in me. Because of them my life is better. And because they gave me their love everlasting, that is what I am going to give to the world.
To love everlasting, may it never leave our sight and may we never stop giving it to the world. No matter what hand you are dealt, handle it with love and you will never, ever be without it.