As I dropped Lucas for his last day of school today (this is his first school year) I heard David Bowie in my head.
“Still don’t know what I was waitin’ for
And my time was runnin’ wild
A million dead end streets and
Every time I thought I’d got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me…”
Before becoming a mom I was lost most the time. Then I became a mom and got even more lost! Then one magic day, not long ago, I found myself. I found myself surrounded with love and unprecedented joy. I found myself staring at my children and my heart fell into place.
For those of you that do not know me, I have been struggling with being a mom. Something I’m sure most go through. The struggle, I mean, wether you are a parent or not. Life was becoming so hard. What’s with the constant struggle?! What gives?! Well I realized I was holding on to a person I no longer was. I thought being a mom was driving me crazy when it was me behind the wheel the whole time. I kept thinking at some point I could go back to the past! When there is nothing but NOW and hope for the future. And what a wonderful NOW I was missing out on. I had an AHA! moment and motherhood became me :). I let go of the struggle and welcomed the challenge of every moment.
So much suffering could be avoided if we just got out of our heads and into our lives. I understand the challenges that can come with change. I know it is not always easy to let go. Moving in synchronicity with the moment can feel like an impossible task. But NOTHING is impossible. And sometimes achieving the impossible dream is just a matter of changing our minds.
Today I invite you to change your mind. Change your mind about anything and everything. Live NOW because, not only is it all we got, it can be the best time of your life, every time :).
Lucas is moving on to his next big adventure, Pre-K. And as he moves with ease an detachment from one stage to the next he reminds me to loosen my grip.
Today I look back and honor all the changes that have led me here. I celebrate all the love, joy and tears that have brought me home. And sing along Bowie…
Turn and face the strange
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I can’t trace time.”