I once read an article about a long running study about the indicators that could predict a persons level of success and happiness. The 75 year study was conducted for over 3 decades by George Vaillant , he believed the most important factor in predicting happiness was meaningful relationships. In 2009 Vaillant revisited the data he had been studying since the 1960s, and was further convinced that what matters most in life are relationships. I couldn’t agree more.
After I had Lucas my life went through huge transformations. Not just physical but emotional. One of the most difficult changes was our move from New York to Maryland. Not so much because I missed the city, but because I missed my friends. This time of my life made me value friendship intensely. Being away from a good chunk of the people I loved, made being a new mom a very isolating experience. It was a very difficult time for me. It was the new relationship that was blooming between Lucas and I, and the support of those close to me, that got me out of the hole I was in. Over the years I have made amazing new friends, and kept the old ones :). I love them dearly and know they feel the same way about me. True friends are for ever. No matter where you are if you need them they are there for you. Every other year I like to throw a big production bday party. Attendance is usually in the 20’s or under. You might thing that is not a lot of people, but it is quality not quantity that matters. And some of those who attend travel over 6 hours just to be here with me for that night! I am a very lucky lady, thou sometimes I forget.
I am sharing this because sometimes in life we feel lost, defeated and alone. It is hard to see all the beauty that surrounds us because we are consumed by what ever. It is a good idea at those times to look at the significant relationships in our life. Be it one or a thousand. Those that have been there for you at times of sorrow or joy. And more importantly it’s a good time to appreciate and be there for them too. Relationships have to be nurtured and they are well worth the work. The most wonderful thing we can experience is love, I am convinced of that. So let’s work on sharing and cherishing it.
If there was a way to measure success I think it would be by the strength of your relationships and the amount of love in your life. There is no suffering love can’t heal, never forget that. This is a lesson I will try to teach my children for as long as there is breath in my body. So that teaching can stretch and ripple till every person in this planet is touched by love and friendship.